The Prophet ﷺ treated his wives with loyalty, fairness, gentleness and respect. He stayed devoted to Khadijah’s memory years after her death, divided his time and attention justly between his wives, never struck any of them, helped at home, and honored each woman’s dignity and background. These authentic examples of the Prophet’s marriage are the best model a Muslim husband or wife has, and they form the heart of any course that teaches you to prepare for marriage the Islamic way.
This article looks at how he treated his wives one example at a time, introduces the Mothers of the Believers in order, and draws out practical lessons for married life today.
Key takeaways
- He was married to Khadijah alone for about 25 years and spoke of his love for her long after she died.
- He was meticulously fair: he drew lots before journeys and asked permission before staying in one wife’s home during his final illness.
- He never struck a woman, and he helped with work at home.
- He honored each wife’s dignity and family background, and protected her from being belittled.
The Standard He Set
The Quran commands believers to “live with them in kindness” (Surah an-Nisa, 4:19), and the Prophet ﷺ was the living explanation of that verse. He taught that the most complete believers in faith are those with the best character, and that the best of you are the best to their wives (Sunan at-Tirmidhi, graded hasan sahih).
‘A’ishah summed up his manner at home in a single sentence: he never struck anyone with his hand, not a woman and not a servant, except when fighting in the path of Allah (Sahih Muslim). In a society where harshness toward women was common, this was a clear break with the culture around him.
Loyalty to Khadijah
Khadijah was the first person to believe in him, and she supported him with her wealth and her comfort through the hardest years of his mission. He described his feelings for her plainly: “I was blessed with her love” (Sahih Muslim).
His loyalty did not end with her death. ‘A’ishah said she was never as jealous of any woman as she was of Khadijah, though she had never met her, because the Prophet ﷺ mentioned her so often. He would slaughter a sheep and send portions to Khadijah’s friends (Sahih al-Bukhari). When Khadijah’s sister Halah once asked permission to enter, the way she asked reminded him so much of Khadijah that he was visibly stirred and called out her name (Sahih al-Bukhari).
The lesson: gratitude in marriage does not expire. Speaking well of your spouse, honoring their family and remembering what they gave you in hard times are signs of faithfulness.
Justice Between His Wives
The Prophet ﷺ was married to more than one wife in Madinah, and his fairness between them is one of the clearest themes in the reports.
- Fair division of time. Each wife had her turn, and he kept to it carefully.
- Drawing lots before travel. When he wanted to set out on a journey, he drew lots between his wives, and the one whose name came out traveled with him (Sahih al-Bukhari). Nobody could claim favoritism.
- Asking permission when ill. In his final illness he asked his wives for permission to be nursed in ‘A’ishah’s house, and they agreed (Sahih al-Bukhari).
- Respecting their choices. When Sawdah chose to give her turn to ‘A’ishah, he accepted her decision (Sahih al-Bukhari).
Scholars explain that justice between wives is required in what a husband controls, such as time, housing and spending, while feelings of the heart are not fully in anyone’s control. Marrying more than four wives was a ruling specific to the Prophet ﷺ (al-Ahzab 33:50), and the Quran tells ordinary men that if they fear they cannot be just, they should marry only one (an-Nisa 4:3). For questions about your own situation, speak to a qualified scholar.
Meet the Mothers of the Believers
The Quran gives the Prophet’s wives the honored title of Mothers of the Believers (al-Ahzab 33:6). Most of them were widows or divorced women when he married them, and several of the marriages honored women who had suffered for their faith or strengthened ties between communities. Tap through the timeline below to see each one in order.
The Mothers of the Believers
Tap each name to see when the marriage took place and what it teaches
Dates for some of these marriages differ slightly between historians, so treat the years as approximate.
Gentleness and Affection in Daily Life
His tenderness shows in small, ordinary moments that ‘A’ishah and others preserved:
- Warm words. He once called her by a shortened, affectionate form of her name, “Ya ‘A’ish,” to tell her that Jibril was sending her greetings of peace (Sahih al-Bukhari).
- Shared enjoyment. When some Abyssinians were displaying their skill with spears in the mosque, he stood screening her so she could watch, and stayed until she herself was ready to leave (Sahih al-Bukhari).
- Closeness in every state. He would lean against her lap and recite the Quran while she was menstruating (Sahih al-Bukhari), showing that her monthly cycle never made her less honored.
- Serving himself. Reports in Musnad Ahmad describe him mending his own clothes and repairing his own sandals, as any man of his household would.
Honoring Each Wife’s Dignity
He did not let his wives be belittled, even by one another. Safiyyah came from a Jewish family of Khaybar. He freed her and made her freedom her mahr (Sahih al-Bukhari), and when she mounted her camel he lowered his knee so she could step on it (Sahih al-Bukhari). A man who could command an army knelt so his wife could ride.
With Juwayriyah, the marriage led the Companions to free many captives from her tribe, as they did not want to hold the Prophet’s in-laws as captives (Sunan Abi Dawud). Her people were honored because she was honored.
| What he did | What it looks like in your home |
|---|---|
| Spoke of Khadijah’s virtues years later | Praise your spouse, including in front of others |
| Drew lots before journeys | Make decisions transparently, without favoritism |
| Never struck a woman | Anger is never an excuse for harm |
| Knelt so Safiyyah could mount | Small acts of service carry great respect |
| Asked his wives’ permission when ill | Consult your spouse on what affects them |
Bringing These Lessons Into Your Marriage
Reading these examples is moving, but turning them into habits takes intention. Couples often find that the early months are when patterns are set, which is why our guide to the first year of marriage in Islam builds on many of these same principles. The Prophet’s generosity in providing for his household also connects to the practical side of married life covered in financial responsibilities in Islamic marriage.
Studying the Sunnah of family life with a teacher, in Islamic marriage classes taught one-to-one, lets you ask questions about your own circumstances and learn the rulings behind the stories. And as our article on signs that Allah loves you reminds us, good character toward people, starting at home, is beloved to Allah.
Frequently Asked Questions
How many wives did the Prophet ﷺ have?
The commonly cited number is eleven wives, two of whom, Khadijah and Zaynab bint Khuzaymah, passed away during his lifetime. All of them are honored as Mothers of the Believers. Historians differ slightly on some details, such as the exact year of certain marriages.
Why did the Prophet ﷺ marry more than one wife?
Scholars point to several wisdoms: caring for widows of fallen Companions, honoring women who suffered for their faith, building ties between tribes, and preserving his home life for the Ummah through several narrators. Notably, during his youth and prime he was married only to Khadijah for about 25 years.
Did the Prophet ﷺ ever hit his wives?
No. ‘A’ishah stated clearly that he never struck a woman or a servant with his hand (Sahih Muslim). His example is the standard for how a Muslim treats his family.
Who was the Prophet’s favorite wife?
When ‘Amr ibn al-‘As asked him who was most beloved to him, he answered “‘A’ishah” (Sahih al-Bukhari), and he also spoke of his deep love for Khadijah. Even so, he remained just between his wives in time, housing and provision.
Where can I learn more about the Prophet’s family life?
A guided Islamic marriage course covers the Sunnah of family life alongside the rights of spouses and the marriage contract. You can study alone or as a couple, and book a free trial class to begin.
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