Does Islam Allow Hitting Children

In a world full of misconceptions, one question often arises: Does Islam allow hitting children? At Madrasat El Quran, we believe in promoting a deeper, more compassionate understanding of Islamic teachings rooted in mercy, wisdom, and prophetic guidance. This topic deserves clarity  not confusion.

In this insightful exploration, we’ll uncover the authentic Islamic view on child discipline, how the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) interacted with children, and why kindness is at the heart of Islamic parenting.

What Are The Rules For Children in Islam?

In Islam, children are considered a great blessing and trust (أمانة) from Allah. They have rights that must be honored, and responsibilities that gradually increase as they grow. Here are the key rules and guidelines related to children in Islam:

1. Children’s Rights in Islam

Islam grants children many fundamental rights from birth:

Right to Life and Protection

• Islam strictly forbids killing or harming children in any form (Qur’an 6:151).
  
• Infanticide and neglect are major sins in Islam.
  

Right to a Good Name

• The Prophet ﷺ emphasized giving children beautiful and meaningful names.
  
• A good name influences a child’s identity and self-worth.
  

Right to Love, Affection, and Fair Treatment

• The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ showed immense kindness and affection to children.
  
• Parents are commanded to treat all their children equally and fairly in gifts and attention.
  

Right to Education (Religious and Worldly)

• Children have the right to learn Islamic principles, Qur’an, and daily life skills.
  
• The Prophet ﷺ said: “A father gives his child nothing better than a good education.”
  

Right to Proper Upbringing

• Parents are responsible for teaching children good manners (adab), prayer, truthfulness, modesty, and respect.

2. Responsibilities of Children in Islam

As children grow and reach maturity (bulugh), they are expected to:

Practice the Five Pillars of Islam

• Once mature, children are expected to pray, fast, and fulfill Islamic obligations.
  
• Parents should start teaching them gradually before maturity (e.g., Salah by age 7).
  

Respect and Obey Parents

• Being dutiful to parents is a major virtue in Islam (Qur’an 17:23).
  
• Disobedience to parents (unless in sin) is a serious offense.
  

Practice Good Character

• Children are encouraged to embody the Prophetic manners, honesty, kindness, humility, and patience.
  

Seek Knowledge

• Islam encourages both boys and girls to pursue beneficial knowledge, religious and worldly.
  

Discipline in Islam

• Discipline must be done with love, wisdom, and care.
  
• Hitting is not encouraged and is only mentioned under strict conditions (e.g., symbolic, not harmful, after age 10 for prayer)—and even then, many scholars advise against it due to the Prophet’s example of non-violence.
  

At Madrasat El Quran, We believe that raising righteous children begins with understanding their rights and nurturing their souls with love and guidance. Our courses on Islamic parenting, Qur’anic values, and Tarbiyah help parents and children thrive spiritually.

What Exactly Is The Islamic View of Hitting Children?

Islam emphasizes mercy, compassion, and patience in raising children. While there is a famous Hadith mentioning striking a child for missing prayer at age 10, it is often misunderstood or misused. The general Islamic approach favors teaching through love, gentleness, and positive reinforcement.

1. The Foundation of Mercy in Islam

Islam begins with mercy. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was described as a mercy to the entire world, especially to children.

“And We have not sent you [O Muhammad] except as a mercy to the worlds.”

Surah Al-Anbiya (21:107)

 “Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.”

“مَن لا يَرحم لا يُرحم.”

(Bukhari & Muslim)

The Prophet ﷺ showed immense gentleness to children and never struck a child in his lifetime.

2. The Hadith About Hitting at Age 10 — Context Matters

“Command your children to pray when they are seven years old, and strike them for it when they are ten, and separate them in their beds.”

“مُرُوا أَوْلادَكُم بِالصَّلَاةِ وَهُمْ أَبْنَاءُ سَبْعِ سِنِينَ، وَاضْرِبُوهُمْ عَلَيْهَا وَهُمْ أَبْنَاءُ عَشْرٍ، وَفَرِّقُوا بَيْنَهُمْ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ.”

(Abu Dawood, 495)

What Scholars Say:

• This “striking” is symbolic and controlled.
• It should be gentle, not harmful, not out of anger, and never on the face.
• It is only used as a last resort when a child refuses to pray after years of encouragement.
  

Imam Al-Nawawi said:
“The strike must not be painful, harmful, or leave a mark. It is meant to discipline, not punish.”

3. The Prophet ﷺ and Children: A Model of Compassion

“I served the Prophet ﷺ for ten years, and he never said to me ‘Uff!’ nor did he ever say, ‘Why did you do that?’ or ‘Why didn’t you do that?’”

“خَدَمتُ النبيَّ ﷺ عَشْرَ سِنِينَ، فما قالَ لي أُفٍّ قطُّ، وما قالَ لشيءٍ فَعَلتُه: لِمَ فَعَلتَه؟ ولا لشيءٍ لم أفعَله: ألا فَعَلتَ كذا؟”

(Sahih Muslim)

Even after repeated mistakes, the Prophet never rebuked, hit, or humiliated Anas ibn Malik, who was a child serving him.

4. What Islam Forbids

Islam strictly prohibits:

• Physical abuse.
• Emotional abuse.
• Hitting the face.
• Any form of discipline done in anger.
• Hitting that leaves marks or causes fear/trauma.
  

Islam does not promote hitting children as a first response. In fact, it strongly encourages love, patience, and guidance, The only exception (light strike for missed prayers at age 10) is regulated by strict conditions and must never be harmful or done in anger. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ is the ultimate example, he taught through compassion, never violence.

Who Has More Right over a child in Islam?

In Islam, the rights and responsibilities over a child are carefully balanced between the father and mother, guided by the Qur’an, Sunnah, and centuries of Islamic jurisprudence. The question of “who has more right over a child” is nuanced and depends on the child’s age, the marital status of the parents, and the situation (custody, guardianship, education, etc.).

Here’s a detailed breakdown:

1. Parental Roles in General

Islam teaches that both mother and father have immense rights and responsibilities over their children. The father is generally the legal guardian, while the mother is given primary care responsibilities, especially in early childhood.

Qur’an.

“Mothers may breastfeed their children two complete years for whoever wishes to complete the nursing [period]…”

Surah Al-Baqarah 2:233

This highlights the central role of the mother in the child’s early life, particularly in emotional and physical nurturing.

2. Who Has the Right of Custody (Hadānah)?

In cases of separation or divorce, the matter of custody is clearly addressed in Islamic law.

Custody for Young Children (Below 7 years for boys, 9 for girls)

• The mother has the primary right of custody, as long as she is:
  • Mentally sound.
  • Capable of raising the child.
  • Not remarried (in some schools of thought).
    

This is based on Hadith:

“You have more right to him (the child) as long as you do not marry.”

“أنت أحق به ما لم تنكحي”

Sunan Abu Dawood

3. Father’s Right: Guardianship (Wilayah)

While the mother often gets custody in early years, the father holds guardianship (wilayah) over the child throughout life unless legally removed.

He is responsible for:

• Financial provision.
• Supervising education.
• Consent in marriage (for daughters).
• Islamic guidance and discipline.
  

4. When the Child Grows Older

As the child reaches discernment age (around 7+), some scholars allow the child to choose which parent to live with, if both are equally fit and safe.

Is It Haram To Favor One Child?

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ strongly discouraged giving preferential treatment to one child over others, especially in gifts, love, or attention, as it creates injustice, jealousy, and family division.

The Prophet ﷺ said: “Fear Allah and treat your children equally.”

قال رسول الله ﷺ: “اتقوا الله واعدلوا بين أولادكم

Sahih al-Bukhari (2587), Sahih Muslim (1623)

“Then do not call me to witness this, for I do not bear witness to injustice.”

وقال ﷺ: “فلا تشهدني إذًا، فإني لا أشهد على جور”

Sahih Muslim

Islam is a religion of mercy, justice, and compassion, especially toward children. While discipline is part of raising a child, Islam never encourages abuse or harsh treatment. Instead, it calls for understanding, patience, and teaching through love and example.

At Madrasat El-Quran, we help parents and educators embrace the Prophetic model of raising children, rooted in gentleness, fairness, and emotional intelligence. Join our programs to learn how to guide young hearts with wisdom and mercym the Islamic way.

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